Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.
"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach to you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.
嗨！黑暗，我的老友
我又來找你聊天了
只因有個幻象緩緩的爬過
趁我熟睡時灑下種籽
這個深植在我腦海裡的幻象
依然留存在沈默之聲裡
在無盡的夢境裡
我一個人走在圓石鋪成的狹窄街道上
在街燈的光暈下
我豎起衣領抵擋濕冷的天氣
當閃爍的霓虹燈刺痛了雙眼
光芒劃破夜空，也觸動了沈默之聲
在沒有燈罩的燈光下
我看到了數以萬計或者更多的人們
人們聊天而不談心
只用耳朵聽而非用心聆聽
人們寫著毫無感情分享的歌
而且沒有人敢去驚擾沈默之聲
「愚蠢的人們啊！」我說：「你們不明白------」
「沈默像癌細胞一樣蔓延
仔細聽聽我能教你的
握住我伸出的手。」
但我這些話像無聲的雨落下
在沈默的井裡發出回聲------
人們對著自己創造出來的霓虹神像膜拜禱告
告示上閃爍著警句
在逐漸顯現的字句中，它說著：
「先知的箴言，
寫在地下鐵的牆壁和廉價公寓的長廊裡，
並且在沈默之聲中低迴不已---------」
2013年12月24日 星期二
2013年12月23日 星期一
工程師程式語錄
1. 一個好的工程師是那種過單行道馬路都要左顧右盼的人。（Doug Linder）
A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. (Doug Linder)
2. 程式有問題時不要擔心。如果所有東西都沒問題，你就失業了。（軟體工程的 Mosher 定律）
Don’t worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. (Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering)
Don’t worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. (Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering)
3. 工程師的麻煩在於，你無法弄清他在折騰什麼，當你最終弄明白時，也許已經太遲了。（超級電腦之父 Seymour Cray）
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. (Seymour Cray)
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. (Seymour Cray)
4. 我想大部分人都知道通常一名工程師會具有的美德。當然了，有三種：懶惰、暴躁、傲慢。（Perl 語言發明者 Larry Wall）
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris. (Larry Wall)
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris. (Larry Wall)
5. 寫程式時要保持這種心態：就好像將來要維護你這些程式的人是一位殘暴的精神病患者，而且他知道你住在哪。（Martin Golding）
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. (Martin Golding)
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. (Martin Golding)
6. 一個人寫的爛軟體將會給另一個人帶來一份全職工作。（Jessica Gaston）
One man’s crappy software is another man’s full time job. (Jessica Gaston)
One man’s crappy software is another man’s full time job. (Jessica Gaston)
7. 如果建築工人像工程師寫軟體那樣蓋房子，那第一隻飛來的啄木鳥就能毀掉人類文明。（Gerald Weinberg）
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along wound destroy civilization. (Gerald Weinberg)
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along wound destroy civilization. (Gerald Weinberg)
8. 這世界最有可能毀滅的方式——大多數專家都同意——是由意外造成。這就是為什麼會有我們，我們是電腦專家，我們創造意外。（Nathaniel Borenstein）
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. (Nathaniel Borenstein)
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. (Nathaniel Borenstein)
9. 我們這個產業有個特別奇怪的現象：我們不但不會從失敗裡吸取教訓，同時也不從成功中學習經驗。（Keith Braithwaite）
It’s a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, we also don’t learn from our successes. (Keith Braithwaite)
It’s a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, we also don’t learn from our successes. (Keith Braithwaite)
10. 一種新技術一旦開始流行，你要嘛坐上壓路機，要嘛成為鋪路石。（Stewart Brand）
Once a new technology starts rolling, if you’re not part of the steamroller, you’re part of the road. (Stewart Brand)
Once a new technology starts rolling, if you’re not part of the steamroller, you’re part of the road. (Stewart Brand)
11. 如果沒能一次成功，那就叫它 1.0 版吧。（unknown）
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0 (unknown)
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0 (unknown)
12. 所有的工程師都是編劇，所有的電腦都是爛演員。（Anonymous Hack Actor）
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. (Anonymous Hack Actor)
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. (Anonymous Hack Actor)
13. 工作進度上越快落後，你就會有越充足的時間趕上。（Anonymous Scheduler）
The sooner you get behind in your work, the more time you have to catch up. (Anonymous Scheduler)
The sooner you get behind in your work, the more time you have to catch up. (Anonymous Scheduler)
14. 當有這樣的一種程式語言出現：它能讓工程師用簡單的英語寫程式，你將會發現，工程師都開始不會說英語。（Anonymous Linguist）
When a programming language is created that allows programmers to program in simple English, it will be discovered that programmers cannot speak English. (Anonymous Linguist)
When a programming language is created that allows programmers to program in simple English, it will be discovered that programmers cannot speak English. (Anonymous Linguist)
15. 為什麼我們沒有時間把事情做對，卻總有時間把事情砍掉重練？（Anonymous）
Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over? (Anonymous)
Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over? (Anonymous)
16. 傻瓜都能寫出電腦能理解的程式。優秀的工程師寫出的是人類能讀懂的程式。
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
17. 任何你寫的程式，超過 6 個月不去看它，當你再度開啓時，看起來都像是別人寫的。（Eagleson's law）
Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else. (Eagleson's law)
Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else. (Eagleson's law)
程式／軟體開發語錄
18. 按程式行數來評估軟體開發的進度，就如同按重量來評估飛機建造的進度。（Bill Gates）
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. (Bill Gates)
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. (Bill Gates)
19. 軟體就像做愛。一次犯錯，你需要用剩下的一生來彌補。（Michael Sinz）
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)
20. 在水上行走和按照特定需求開發開發軟體都很容易——前提是它們都是凍結狀態。（Edward V Berard）
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. (Edward V Berard)
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. (Edward V Berard)
21. 最初 90% 的程式消耗了最初 90% 的開發時間…最後 10% 的程式用去了另外 90% 的開發時間。（Tom Cargill）
The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the first 90 percent of the development time…The remaining 10 percent of the code accounts for the other 90 percent of the development time.(Tom Cargill)
The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the first 90 percent of the development time…The remaining 10 percent of the code accounts for the other 90 percent of the development time.(Tom Cargill)
22. 註釋程式很像清掃廁所——你不想幹，但如果你做了，這絕對會給你和你的客人帶來更愉悅的體驗。（Ryan Campbell）
Commenting your code is like cleaning your bathroom — you never want to do it, but it really does create a more pleasant experience for you and your guests. (Ryan Campbell)
Commenting your code is like cleaning your bathroom — you never want to do it, but it really does create a more pleasant experience for you and your guests. (Ryan Campbell)
23. 如今的程式是一場工程師和上帝的競賽，工程師要開發出更大更好、傻瓜都會用到軟體。而上帝在努力創造出更大更傻的傻瓜。目前為止，上帝是贏的。（Rick Cook）
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning. (Rick Cook)
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning. (Rick Cook)
24. 軟體設計最困難的部分⋯⋯是阻擋新功能的引入。（Donald Norman）
The hardest part of design … is keeping features out. (Donald Norman)
The hardest part of design … is keeping features out. (Donald Norman)
25. 為了理解遞迴（recursion），我們首先要理解的是遞迴。（Anonymous）
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. (Anonymous)
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. (Anonymous)
26. 世上只有兩類程式語言：那些被人批得一無是處的，以及那些沒人使用的。（Bjarne Stroustrup）
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses. (Bjarne Stroustrup)
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses. (Bjarne Stroustrup)
27. 關於布林值最棒的一點是，即使你搞錯了，也只差一個位元（a bit，此為雙關語，英文「一點點」之意，也是電腦術語「位元」的意思）。（Anonymous）
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
28. 如果 Java 真的能夠垃圾回收，那大部分的程式都會在執行時自己刪除自己。（Robert Swell）
If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. (Robert Swell)
If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. (Robert Swell)
29. 理論上，理論和實踐是沒有差異的。但實踐中，是有的。（Jan LA van de Snepscheut）
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. (Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut)
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. (Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut)
30. 預備，開火，瞄準：這是最快的軟體開發方法。預備，瞄準，瞄準，瞄準，瞄準：這是最慢的軟體開發方法。（Anonymous）
Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development. (Anonymous)
Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development. (Anonymous)
31. 寫程式是 10% 的科學、20%天份，加上 70% 的讓天份符合科學。（Anonymous）
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science. (Anonymous)
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science. (Anonymous)
32. 評估一件事情要比去理解你評估了什麼容易。（Anonymous）
It is easier to measure something than to understand what you have measured. (Anonymous)
It is easier to measure something than to understand what you have measured. (Anonymous)
33. 標準檢查程式（benchmark）不會撒謊，但制定標準檢查程式的人會。（Anonymous）
Benchmarks don’t lie, but liars do benchmarks. (Anonymous)
Benchmarks don’t lie, but liars do benchmarks. (Anonymous)
34. 培養員工，即使他們有跳槽的風險。什麼都不做而留他們在公司，這樣風險更大。（Anonymous）
Better train people and risk they leave – than do nothing and risk they stay. (Anonymous)
Better train people and risk they leave – than do nothing and risk they stay. (Anonymous)
35. 電腦科學的目標是做出一個東西，並且保證它至少能堅持到我們將它開發完成。（Anonymous）
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. (Anonymous)
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. (Anonymous)
36. Java 之於 JavaScript 的關係就如同狗和熱狗。（英文是 Car 與 Carpet）。（Chris Heilmann）
Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet. (Chris Heilmann)
Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet. (Chris Heilmann)
37. 起初就把事情做對是完全沒必要的。但最後要把事情做對是絕對必要的。（Andrew Hunt and David Thomas）
It's not at all important to get it right the first time. It's vitally important to get it right the last time. (Andrew Hunt and David Thomas)
It's not at all important to get it right the first time. It's vitally important to get it right the last time. (Andrew Hunt and David Thomas)
38. 陣列（array）的起始索引（indices）應該從 0 開始還是從 1 開始？我的 0.5 的折中提議被他們拒絕了，而我認為，他們沒有考慮周詳。（Stan Kelly-Bootle）
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)
39. 程式必須是為了給人看而寫，命令機器執行只是附帶任務。（Abelson / Sussman）
Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute. (Abelson / Sussman)
Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute. (Abelson / Sussman)
40. 寫程式可以很有趣，密碼學也是，但兩者絕對不能合而為一。（Kreitzberg and Shneiderman）
Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined. (Kreitzberg and Shneiderman)
Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined. (Kreitzberg and Shneiderman)
41. 複製 -- 貼上是一種設計錯誤。（David Parnas）
Copy and paste is a design error. (David Parnas)
Copy and paste is a design error. (David Parnas)
42. 電腦善於遵循指令，但不善於理解你的思維。（Donald Knuth）
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. (Donald Knuth)
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. (Donald Knuth)
軟體除錯語錄
43. 被刪除的程式就是被除錯的程式。（Jeff Sickel）
Deleted code is debugged code. (Jeff Sickel)
Deleted code is debugged code. (Jeff Sickel)
44. 如果除錯是消除軟體 bug 的過程，那寫程式一定是把它們放進去的過程。（Edsger Dijkstra）
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. (Edsger Dijkstra)
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. (Edsger Dijkstra)
45. 程式除錯要比新編寫程式困難一倍。因此，如果你寫出了最聰明的程式，按此推算，你就缺乏更深遠的智慧來替它除錯。
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are–by definition–not smart enough to debug it.
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are–by definition–not smart enough to debug it.
46. 想在自己的程式裡找出一個錯誤是十分困難的。而當你認為你的程式沒有錯誤時，那就更難了。（Steve McConnel）
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free. (Steve McConnel)
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free. (Steve McConnel)
軟體 bug 語錄
47. 這不是個 bug——這一個未註明的功能特徵。（Anonymous）
It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature. (Anonymous)
It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature. (Anonymous)
48. 沒有需求或設計，寫程式就是一種將 bug 添加到一個空白文件裡的藝術。（Louis Srygley）
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. (Louis Srygley)
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. (Louis Srygley)
49. 爛程式並不爛，只是被誤解了。（Anonymous Code Behaviorist）
Bad code isn’t bad, its just misunderstood. (Anonymous Code Behaviorist)
Bad code isn’t bad, its just misunderstood. (Anonymous Code Behaviorist)
50. 有兩種方法能寫出沒有錯誤的程式；但只有第三種好用。（Alan J. Perlis）
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. (Alan J. Perlis)
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. (Alan J. Perlis)
51. 小心上面程式中的 bug；我只知道這些程式是正確的，但沒有試過。（Donald Knuth）
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. (Donald Knuth)
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. (Donald Knuth)
軟體產品/成品語錄
52. 軟體能夠反覆使用之前，它必須要先可以用。（Ralph Johnson）
Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. (Ralph Johnson)
Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. (Ralph Johnson)
53. 軟體通常在 beta 測試完成不久後發表。Beta 在拉丁語中是「還不能用」的意思。（Anonymous）
Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn't work". (Anonymous)
Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn't work". (Anonymous)
54. 最好的性能改進是將軟體從不能用的狀態變成可用。（J. Osterhout）
The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. (J. Osterhout)
The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. (J. Osterhout)
55. 最便宜、最快速、最值得信賴的組件是那些還未出現的組件。（Gordon Bell）
The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren't there. (Gordon Bell)
The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren't there. (Gordon Bell)
56. 我認為微軟之所以把「.Net」命名為「.Net」，是因為如此一來，它就不會出現在 Unix 的目錄裡。 （Oktal）
I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. (Oktal)
I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. (Oktal)
57. 軟體和教堂非常相似——建成之後我們就開始祈禱。（Sam Redwine）
Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray. (Sam Redwine)
Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray. (Sam Redwine)
58. 除非最後一個使用者死掉，軟體是不會有完工的時候的。（Anonymous）
The software isn’t finished until the last user is dead. (Anonymous)
The software isn’t finished until the last user is dead. (Anonymous)
59. 如今的大部分軟體都非常像埃及金字塔，由成千上萬的石塊一塊一塊構成，沒有結構上的整合，而是由暴力強制和成千上萬的奴隸完成。（Alan Kay）
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. (Alan Kay)
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. (Alan Kay)
「羅禮士的真相」（Chuck Norris Facts）
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
羅禮士出生後就開車把他媽媽從醫院載回家。
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
羅禮士從不讀書：他都是狠狠瞪著書本，直到書本供出他想要的資訊。
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
羅禮士可以用點字和人對談。
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
羅禮士的日曆在 3/31 之後就是 4/2：沒有人可以愚弄羅禮士。 (註：想想 4/1 是什麼日子...)
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
羅禮士出的唯一一次錯：他認為自己犯錯了。
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.
羅禮士不殺女人，所以 Kenny G 有權利活著。
In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
羅禮士的遺囑特別註明：他死後要自己埋葬自己。
生活：
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
羅禮士可以用腳打好鞋帶。
Chuck Norris' Doesn't wear a Watch, he Decides what Time it is.
羅禮士不使用時鐘或手錶，因為現在時間是由他決定的。
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
羅禮士不會打錯電話，而是對方接錯電話。
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
羅禮士房間有張棕熊做的地毯：其實那頭熊還沒死，牠只是不敢動。
When children go to bed, they take a teddy bear with them. When Chuck Norris goes to bed, he takes a grizzly bear with him.
小孩子都是抱著泰迪熊睡覺，羅禮士則是大灰熊。
Chuck Norris owns a custom belt sander with three settings: Low, High, and Shave.
羅禮士有一台特製的砂輪機，上面設定是：弱→強→刮鬍。
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
羅禮士走進室內時不是開燈，他是「關掉黑暗」。
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
當羅禮士面對鏡子時，鏡子就破碎了：因為鏡子沒笨到被兩個羅禮士夾在中間。
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
一間民宅的客廳裏平均會有 1242 種羅禮士可拿來殺人的物品，包括客廳本身。
Chuck Norris always makes the shower head cry.
羅禮士洗澡不用轉開關，他只是瞪著水龍頭讓它哭而已。
After a shower, Chuck Norris dosen't need a towel, he just tells the water to get the hell off!
洗完澡後羅禮士不需要浴巾擦乾，他只要叫水份離開他的身體就好了。
飲食：
Chuck Norris can tie cherry stems with his ear.
羅禮士可以用耳朵把櫻桃梗打結。
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
羅禮士去漢堡王點了一個大麥克，而且他拿到了。
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
羅禮士切洋蔥時總是讓洋蔥流眼淚。
影劇：
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
羅禮士有專業替身：用在要哭的場景。
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious reasons.
電影「不可能的任務」拒絕羅禮士去試鏡，原因很明顯。
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
「24 小時反恐任務」本來是要找羅禮士來演的，但後來不得不換角：因為他在 12 分 37 秒時就全數殲滅恐怖份子。
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
當初詹姆斯克麥隆本來是要找羅禮士演魔鬼終結者，但發現那樣會變成真實紀錄片，只好改找阿諾。
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
羅禮士在六部「星際大戰」電影中都有演出......他飾演「原力」。
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he’s not acting.
羅禮士從未因演技而拿到奧斯卡獎：因為他並不是在演戲。
The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
「死亡鈴聲」的語源是：看電影時坐在羅禮士後面的人沒把手機鈴聲關掉。 (註：原意是指「非常相像的人」)
英雄：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
羅禮士曾和超人對打，並賭說輸的人要把內褲穿在褲子外面。
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
有些粉絲會穿超人睡衣，超人則穿著羅禮士睡衣。
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
普通人發生危難時超人會出動，超人發生危難時羅禮士會出動。
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
當蝙蝠俠遇到問題，他會用探照燈打出羅禮士的頭像。
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
有一次羅禮士惡作劇尿在一輛貨櫃車的油箱裏... 那輛車後來變成我們知道的「變形金剛」柯博文。
社會：
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
美國四種合法死刑處刑方式：注射毒藥、毒氣室、電椅、羅禮士。
When you celebrate your birthday, you do not celebrate the date of your birth, you celebrate that Chuck Norris allowed you to live another year.
在生日時慶祝的不是長了一歲，而是羅禮士又讓人活了一年。
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
交通警察曾經攔下羅禮士，那個條子很幸運地只有被警告就被放走了。
Firefighters save the fire from Chuck Norris.
消防人員要從羅禮士手下救「火」。
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
身障車位不是專門為了身障人士而設的，事實上是在標明羅禮士的車位，如果你停在上面，會被他打成半殘。
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
曾經有一條「羅禮士路」，但後來改名了：沒有人可以踩在羅禮士上還活命。
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
羅禮士可能不知道你住在哪裏，但他知道你會死在哪裏。
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
羅禮士比 YA! 時表示：你還有兩秒鐘可活。
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
超能力者用精神力讓湯匙扭曲，羅禮士則用湯匙讓人精神扭曲。 (讓我想到這個影片)
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
羅禮士知道維多利亞的秘密。 (註：「維多利亞的秘密」是知名內衣專賣店，「祕密」大概是指內在美吧...？)
財金：
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
如果你有五塊錢、而羅禮士也有五塊錢：他有的錢比你多。
Chuck Norris credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
羅禮士的信用卡沒有最高額度，但他上個星期又用超過了。
文學、藝術：
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
羅禮士遇到驚嘆號並揍了它一拳，所以我們現在有了問號。
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
羅禮士可以用鋼琴演奏小提琴。
科學：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris has lived on the sun, this period of time was known as the Ice Age.
羅禮士曾經住在太陽裏，那段期間我們稱為「冰河期」。
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
當貝爾發明電話後, 他發現有三通來自羅禮士的未接來電。
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
黑色是羅禮士發明的，更精確的說：整個可見光光譜都是羅禮士發明的......但不包括粉紅色，那是湯姆克魯斯發明的。 (註：是指她？)
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
光線一直希望自己的速度能有羅禮士的拳速那麼快。
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
羅禮士可以被零整除。
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
π (pi) 的最後一位數就是羅禮士，因為他終結任何事物。
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
羅禮士曾經從一數到無限大......兩次。
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
羅禮士可以摩擦兩塊冰塊生火。
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
羅禮士曾痛扁他的影子，因為老是跟他太近，現在影子都只敢離他 30 呎遠。
Chuck Norris is so intimidating even his reflection won't look back at him.
連羅禮士的水中倒影都要避免和他有眼神接觸。
The sheep on Chuck Norris' farm are the ones that give us steel wool.
現代鋼絲的原料：來自羅禮士農場養的綿羊。
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
劇毒「氰化物」的化學符號 CN 和羅禮士 (Chuck Norris) 名字的縮寫一樣：這並不是巧合。
天文：
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
「宇宙膨脹」的原因就是宇宙萬物都在逃離羅禮士。
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
羅禮士有 12 顆衛星，其中一顆是地球。
Chuck Norris once kicked the Earth, it hasn't stopped spinning.
羅禮士踢了地球一下，它到現在還沒停止轉動。
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
羅禮士已經登陸火星過了，這就是為何那裏沒有生命跡象。
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
其實外星人真的存在，但他們沒有笨到來接近有羅禮士的星球。
There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn't shared with the rest of us.
宇宙中已經沒有奧秘了，只是羅禮士還沒跟大家分享他去過的地方而已。
生物：
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
沒有「進化論」這種東西，只有「羅禮士允許存活物種清單」而已。
羅禮士出生後就開車把他媽媽從醫院載回家。
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
羅禮士從不讀書：他都是狠狠瞪著書本，直到書本供出他想要的資訊。
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
羅禮士可以用點字和人對談。
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
羅禮士的日曆在 3/31 之後就是 4/2：沒有人可以愚弄羅禮士。 (註：想想 4/1 是什麼日子...)
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
羅禮士出的唯一一次錯：他認為自己犯錯了。
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.
羅禮士不殺女人，所以 Kenny G 有權利活著。
In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
羅禮士的遺囑特別註明：他死後要自己埋葬自己。
生活：
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
羅禮士可以用腳打好鞋帶。
Chuck Norris' Doesn't wear a Watch, he Decides what Time it is.
羅禮士不使用時鐘或手錶，因為現在時間是由他決定的。
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
羅禮士不會打錯電話，而是對方接錯電話。
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
羅禮士房間有張棕熊做的地毯：其實那頭熊還沒死，牠只是不敢動。
When children go to bed, they take a teddy bear with them. When Chuck Norris goes to bed, he takes a grizzly bear with him.
小孩子都是抱著泰迪熊睡覺，羅禮士則是大灰熊。
Chuck Norris owns a custom belt sander with three settings: Low, High, and Shave.
羅禮士有一台特製的砂輪機，上面設定是：弱→強→刮鬍。
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
羅禮士走進室內時不是開燈，他是「關掉黑暗」。
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
當羅禮士面對鏡子時，鏡子就破碎了：因為鏡子沒笨到被兩個羅禮士夾在中間。
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
一間民宅的客廳裏平均會有 1242 種羅禮士可拿來殺人的物品，包括客廳本身。
Chuck Norris always makes the shower head cry.
羅禮士洗澡不用轉開關，他只是瞪著水龍頭讓它哭而已。
After a shower, Chuck Norris dosen't need a towel, he just tells the water to get the hell off!
洗完澡後羅禮士不需要浴巾擦乾，他只要叫水份離開他的身體就好了。
飲食：
Chuck Norris can tie cherry stems with his ear.
羅禮士可以用耳朵把櫻桃梗打結。
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
羅禮士去漢堡王點了一個大麥克，而且他拿到了。
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
羅禮士切洋蔥時總是讓洋蔥流眼淚。
影劇：
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
羅禮士有專業替身：用在要哭的場景。
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious reasons.
電影「不可能的任務」拒絕羅禮士去試鏡，原因很明顯。
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
「24 小時反恐任務」本來是要找羅禮士來演的，但後來不得不換角：因為他在 12 分 37 秒時就全數殲滅恐怖份子。
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
當初詹姆斯克麥隆本來是要找羅禮士演魔鬼終結者，但發現那樣會變成真實紀錄片，只好改找阿諾。
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
羅禮士在六部「星際大戰」電影中都有演出......他飾演「原力」。
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he’s not acting.
羅禮士從未因演技而拿到奧斯卡獎：因為他並不是在演戲。
The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
「死亡鈴聲」的語源是：看電影時坐在羅禮士後面的人沒把手機鈴聲關掉。 (註：原意是指「非常相像的人」)
英雄：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
羅禮士曾和超人對打，並賭說輸的人要把內褲穿在褲子外面。
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
有些粉絲會穿超人睡衣，超人則穿著羅禮士睡衣。
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
普通人發生危難時超人會出動，超人發生危難時羅禮士會出動。
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
當蝙蝠俠遇到問題，他會用探照燈打出羅禮士的頭像。
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
有一次羅禮士惡作劇尿在一輛貨櫃車的油箱裏... 那輛車後來變成我們知道的「變形金剛」柯博文。
社會：
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
美國四種合法死刑處刑方式：注射毒藥、毒氣室、電椅、羅禮士。
When you celebrate your birthday, you do not celebrate the date of your birth, you celebrate that Chuck Norris allowed you to live another year.
在生日時慶祝的不是長了一歲，而是羅禮士又讓人活了一年。
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
交通警察曾經攔下羅禮士，那個條子很幸運地只有被警告就被放走了。
Firefighters save the fire from Chuck Norris.
消防人員要從羅禮士手下救「火」。
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
身障車位不是專門為了身障人士而設的，事實上是在標明羅禮士的車位，如果你停在上面，會被他打成半殘。
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
曾經有一條「羅禮士路」，但後來改名了：沒有人可以踩在羅禮士上還活命。
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
羅禮士可能不知道你住在哪裏，但他知道你會死在哪裏。
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
羅禮士比 YA! 時表示：你還有兩秒鐘可活。
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
超能力者用精神力讓湯匙扭曲，羅禮士則用湯匙讓人精神扭曲。 (讓我想到這個影片)
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
羅禮士知道維多利亞的秘密。 (註：「維多利亞的秘密」是知名內衣專賣店，「祕密」大概是指內在美吧...？)
財金：
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
如果你有五塊錢、而羅禮士也有五塊錢：他有的錢比你多。
Chuck Norris credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
羅禮士的信用卡沒有最高額度，但他上個星期又用超過了。
文學、藝術：
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
羅禮士遇到驚嘆號並揍了它一拳，所以我們現在有了問號。
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
羅禮士可以用鋼琴演奏小提琴。
科學：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris has lived on the sun, this period of time was known as the Ice Age.
羅禮士曾經住在太陽裏，那段期間我們稱為「冰河期」。
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
當貝爾發明電話後, 他發現有三通來自羅禮士的未接來電。
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
黑色是羅禮士發明的，更精確的說：整個可見光光譜都是羅禮士發明的......但不包括粉紅色，那是湯姆克魯斯發明的。 (註：是指她？)
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
光線一直希望自己的速度能有羅禮士的拳速那麼快。
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
羅禮士可以被零整除。
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
π (pi) 的最後一位數就是羅禮士，因為他終結任何事物。
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
羅禮士曾經從一數到無限大......兩次。
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
羅禮士可以摩擦兩塊冰塊生火。
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
羅禮士曾痛扁他的影子，因為老是跟他太近，現在影子都只敢離他 30 呎遠。
Chuck Norris is so intimidating even his reflection won't look back at him.
連羅禮士的水中倒影都要避免和他有眼神接觸。
The sheep on Chuck Norris' farm are the ones that give us steel wool.
現代鋼絲的原料：來自羅禮士農場養的綿羊。
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
劇毒「氰化物」的化學符號 CN 和羅禮士 (Chuck Norris) 名字的縮寫一樣：這並不是巧合。
天文：
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
「宇宙膨脹」的原因就是宇宙萬物都在逃離羅禮士。
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
羅禮士有 12 顆衛星，其中一顆是地球。
Chuck Norris once kicked the Earth, it hasn't stopped spinning.
羅禮士踢了地球一下，它到現在還沒停止轉動。
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
羅禮士已經登陸火星過了，這就是為何那裏沒有生命跡象。
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
其實外星人真的存在，但他們沒有笨到來接近有羅禮士的星球。
There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn't shared with the rest of us.
宇宙中已經沒有奧秘了，只是羅禮士還沒跟大家分享他去過的地方而已。
生物：
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
沒有「進化論」這種東西，只有「羅禮士允許存活物種清單」而已。
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
羅禮士對一匹馬打出上鉤拳，於是就產生了長頸鹿。
Chuck Norris can drown fish.
羅禮士能把魚淹死。
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
羅禮士曾經被毒蛇咬過：在經過三天的極度痛苦後....那條蛇死了。
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
羅禮士能從檸檬榨出柳橙汁。
醫學：
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
怕蜘蛛稱作「恐蛛症」、害怕狹小空間稱作「幽閉恐懼症」，害怕羅禮士叫作「邏輯」。
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital.....twice.
羅禮士曾經捐過他的心臟......兩次。
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
羅禮士是不睡覺的，他只是在等待。
Chuck Norris can measure his weight with a ruler.
羅禮士可以用直尺量出他的體重。
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
剛生出來的嬰兒會哭，是因為知道這個世界有羅禮士在。
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; he holds air hostage.
羅禮士不呼吸，他是挾持空氣當人質。
The leading causes of death in the United States are 1.Heart Disease 2.Chuck Norris 3.Cancer.
美國三大死亡原因：1.心臟疾病 2.羅禮士 3.癌症。
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
羅禮士的身體各部份都被登記為殺傷性武器，他的脾臟更被五十個州認定為隱藏式武器。
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
羅禮士的眼淚是癌症的特效藥，但很遺憾：他永不流淚。
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.
羅禮士常常去捐血......不過並不是他的血。
電腦資訊：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
羅禮士的鍵盤上沒有「Control」，因為他就能控制萬物。
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
羅禮士可以刪掉資源回收筒。
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
比爾蓋茲一直活在擔心羅禮士的 PC 當機的恐懼中，終於受不了而退休了。
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
羅禮士不需要推特、Facebook、噗浪，因為他隨時都可以追蹤到你。
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
絕對不要在 Google 上搜尋羅禮士，因為你找不到什麼資料，反而還會被他知道你在追蹤他。
(請在 Google 搜尋輸入「Chuck Norris」，然後點「好手氣」，Google 會告訴你：「在你還有機會時，快逃啊！」)
遊戲：
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
羅禮士就是為什麼威力還躲著的原因。 (註：「威力在哪裏」)
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
羅禮士曾經下了三子就贏了四子棋。
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
有些小孩會用尿在雪地上寫自己的名字，羅禮士則是用尿在水泥地刻出自己的名字。
Chuck Norris can win rock, paper, scissors without using rock, paper, or scissors.
石頭贏剪刀、剪刀贏布、布贏石頭，但是羅禮士贏過這三個。
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
羅禮士騎獨輪車也可以翹孤輪。
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won
羅禮士用裝滿六顆子彈的左輪手槍玩俄羅斯輪盤也能獲勝。
When Chuck Norris plays pac-man the ghosts stay in their box.
羅禮士玩小精靈「PAC-MAN」時，那幾隻鬼都只敢躲在框框裏不敢出來。
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation.
羅禮士有 XBox Live 的帳號：用 PS1 拿到的。
Chuck Norris flew his first paper airplane when he was 4 years old. It landed yesterday.
羅禮士在四歲時丟出一隻紙飛機，昨天終於落地了。
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
羅禮士不玩「躲迷藏」，他玩「躲起來並祈禱我不去找你」。
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
能贏過同花大順的，就只有羅禮士的手了。
體育：
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
羅禮士做伏地挺身的時候，他並不是撐起自己，而是把地球壓下去。
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
羅禮士是唯一在網球比賽中贏過一堵磚牆的人。
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
某次羅禮士在法國渡假時，騎腳踏車四處晃晃，最後不小心贏了環法自行車大賽冠軍。
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
某些魔術師能在水上行走，羅禮士則是在陸地中游泳。
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
羅禮士曾玩過一次花式跳傘，之後他就不再做了......因為大峽谷只有一個就很夠了。
諺語：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
羅禮士可以用一隻鳥殺掉兩顆石頭。
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
「時間不等待任何人」......除非那個人就是羅禮士。
You win some： you lose some. Chuck Norris wins ALL.
「勝敗乃兵家常事」，但羅禮士永遠只有勝利。
The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
「筆勝於劍：文勝於武」......但只限於那枝筆是在羅禮士手上。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
每個成功的男人背後都有個女人，每個死人背後則都有羅禮士。
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
羅馬是羅禮士一天造成的。
There's no point in crying over spilled milk unless it's Chuck Norris' milk... then you're gonna die.
別為打翻的牛奶流淚 (別為無法挽救的事後悔)，除非你打翻的是羅禮士的牛奶...... 因為你死定了。
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
「人並不是完美的」對於羅禮士來說是句侮辱的話。
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
羅禮士的「愛」，指的是「不殺」。
宗教、信仰：
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
上帝說「要有光」，羅禮士說「該加個『請』字吧」。
Jesus turned water into wine, Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
耶穌把水變成葡萄酒，羅禮士把葡萄酒變成啤酒。
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
妖魔鬼怪們露營時晚上的經典活動：圍著營火講「羅禮士故事」。
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾經有過一次「瀕羅禮士體驗」。 (人類則有「濱死體驗」)
Chuck Norris cannot experience Death, but Death can experience Chuck Norris.
羅禮士不會經歷死亡，但死亡會經歷羅禮士。
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
羅禮士其實在二十年之前就已經死了，但是死神還沒勇氣去找他。
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012, he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
有人問羅禮士相不相信 2012 年是世界末日，他回答「要看我那時心情好不好」。
歷史：
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
羅禮士玩過樂高積木：這也是金字塔的由來。
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
當初建萬里長城的目的是為了擋住羅禮士，但很顯然是失敗了。
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
羅禮士用手指著德軍戰鬥機喊「磅！」，該戰機就墜毀了。
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn’t even come close.
曼哈頓計畫原本的目的是要重現羅禮士的破壞力，但很顯然完成品和模仿對象差距很大。
In World War II, The US could choose between an Atomic Bomb and Chuck Norris to punish Japan. The US choose the lighter punishment.
太平洋戰爭時，美國可以從原子彈和羅禮士中二選一：美軍最後決定用比較人道的方法。
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
羅禮士曾到過維京群島 (Virgin Islands)......現在那邊就只叫「群島」(The Islands) 了。 (註解：Virgin 指「處女」)
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
1986 年，蘇聯科學家企圖複製羅禮士但失敗：這就是我們後來所知道的「車諾比核能災害」。
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
伊拉克並沒有大規模毀滅武器，因為羅禮士是住在奧克拉荷馬。
羅禮士對一匹馬打出上鉤拳，於是就產生了長頸鹿。
Chuck Norris can drown fish.
羅禮士能把魚淹死。
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
羅禮士曾經被毒蛇咬過：在經過三天的極度痛苦後....那條蛇死了。
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
羅禮士能從檸檬榨出柳橙汁。
醫學：
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
怕蜘蛛稱作「恐蛛症」、害怕狹小空間稱作「幽閉恐懼症」，害怕羅禮士叫作「邏輯」。
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital.....twice.
羅禮士曾經捐過他的心臟......兩次。
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
羅禮士是不睡覺的，他只是在等待。
Chuck Norris can measure his weight with a ruler.
羅禮士可以用直尺量出他的體重。
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
剛生出來的嬰兒會哭，是因為知道這個世界有羅禮士在。
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; he holds air hostage.
羅禮士不呼吸，他是挾持空氣當人質。
The leading causes of death in the United States are 1.Heart Disease 2.Chuck Norris 3.Cancer.
美國三大死亡原因：1.心臟疾病 2.羅禮士 3.癌症。
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
羅禮士的身體各部份都被登記為殺傷性武器，他的脾臟更被五十個州認定為隱藏式武器。
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
羅禮士的眼淚是癌症的特效藥，但很遺憾：他永不流淚。
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.
羅禮士常常去捐血......不過並不是他的血。
電腦資訊：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
羅禮士的鍵盤上沒有「Control」，因為他就能控制萬物。
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
羅禮士可以刪掉資源回收筒。
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
比爾蓋茲一直活在擔心羅禮士的 PC 當機的恐懼中，終於受不了而退休了。
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
羅禮士不需要推特、Facebook、噗浪，因為他隨時都可以追蹤到你。
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
絕對不要在 Google 上搜尋羅禮士，因為你找不到什麼資料，反而還會被他知道你在追蹤他。
(請在 Google 搜尋輸入「Chuck Norris」，然後點「好手氣」，Google 會告訴你：「在你還有機會時，快逃啊！」)
遊戲：
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
羅禮士就是為什麼威力還躲著的原因。 (註：「威力在哪裏」)
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
羅禮士曾經下了三子就贏了四子棋。
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
有些小孩會用尿在雪地上寫自己的名字，羅禮士則是用尿在水泥地刻出自己的名字。
Chuck Norris can win rock, paper, scissors without using rock, paper, or scissors.
石頭贏剪刀、剪刀贏布、布贏石頭，但是羅禮士贏過這三個。
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
羅禮士騎獨輪車也可以翹孤輪。
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won
羅禮士用裝滿六顆子彈的左輪手槍玩俄羅斯輪盤也能獲勝。
When Chuck Norris plays pac-man the ghosts stay in their box.
羅禮士玩小精靈「PAC-MAN」時，那幾隻鬼都只敢躲在框框裏不敢出來。
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation.
羅禮士有 XBox Live 的帳號：用 PS1 拿到的。
Chuck Norris flew his first paper airplane when he was 4 years old. It landed yesterday.
羅禮士在四歲時丟出一隻紙飛機，昨天終於落地了。
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
羅禮士不玩「躲迷藏」，他玩「躲起來並祈禱我不去找你」。
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
能贏過同花大順的，就只有羅禮士的手了。
體育：
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
羅禮士做伏地挺身的時候，他並不是撐起自己，而是把地球壓下去。
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
羅禮士是唯一在網球比賽中贏過一堵磚牆的人。
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
某次羅禮士在法國渡假時，騎腳踏車四處晃晃，最後不小心贏了環法自行車大賽冠軍。
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
某些魔術師能在水上行走，羅禮士則是在陸地中游泳。
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
羅禮士曾玩過一次花式跳傘，之後他就不再做了......因為大峽谷只有一個就很夠了。
諺語：出處：Wayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
羅禮士可以用一隻鳥殺掉兩顆石頭。
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
「時間不等待任何人」......除非那個人就是羅禮士。
You win some： you lose some. Chuck Norris wins ALL.
「勝敗乃兵家常事」，但羅禮士永遠只有勝利。
The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
「筆勝於劍：文勝於武」......但只限於那枝筆是在羅禮士手上。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
每個成功的男人背後都有個女人，每個死人背後則都有羅禮士。
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
羅馬是羅禮士一天造成的。
There's no point in crying over spilled milk unless it's Chuck Norris' milk... then you're gonna die.
別為打翻的牛奶流淚 (別為無法挽救的事後悔)，除非你打翻的是羅禮士的牛奶...... 因為你死定了。
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
「人並不是完美的」對於羅禮士來說是句侮辱的話。
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
羅禮士的「愛」，指的是「不殺」。
宗教、信仰：
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
上帝說「要有光」，羅禮士說「該加個『請』字吧」。
Jesus turned water into wine, Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
耶穌把水變成葡萄酒，羅禮士把葡萄酒變成啤酒。
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
妖魔鬼怪們露營時晚上的經典活動：圍著營火講「羅禮士故事」。
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾經有過一次「瀕羅禮士體驗」。 (人類則有「濱死體驗」)
Chuck Norris cannot experience Death, but Death can experience Chuck Norris.
羅禮士不會經歷死亡，但死亡會經歷羅禮士。
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
羅禮士其實在二十年之前就已經死了，但是死神還沒勇氣去找他。
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012, he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
有人問羅禮士相不相信 2012 年是世界末日，他回答「要看我那時心情好不好」。
歷史：
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
羅禮士玩過樂高積木：這也是金字塔的由來。
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
當初建萬里長城的目的是為了擋住羅禮士，但很顯然是失敗了。
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
羅禮士用手指著德軍戰鬥機喊「磅！」，該戰機就墜毀了。
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn’t even come close.
曼哈頓計畫原本的目的是要重現羅禮士的破壞力，但很顯然完成品和模仿對象差距很大。
In World War II, The US could choose between an Atomic Bomb and Chuck Norris to punish Japan. The US choose the lighter punishment.
太平洋戰爭時，美國可以從原子彈和羅禮士中二選一：美軍最後決定用比較人道的方法。
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
羅禮士曾到過維京群島 (Virgin Islands)......現在那邊就只叫「群島」(The Islands) 了。 (註解：Virgin 指「處女」)
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
1986 年，蘇聯科學家企圖複製羅禮士但失敗：這就是我們後來所知道的「車諾比核能災害」。
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
伊拉克並沒有大規模毀滅武器，因為羅禮士是住在奧克拉荷馬。
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推 willy750404:天天開心鑫鑫腸 12/13 11:18
推 Hans14:XDDDD 噴嚏式打法 12/13 11:23
推 Mageo:祖母幹嘛x你娘 12/13 11:24
推 bamm:井底之蛙蛙的發 12/13 11:27
推 drpeter:中箭落馬馬英九…啊對不起我罵髒話… 12/13 11:28
推 luna031:九牛一毛毛毛蟲 12/13 11:34
推 mosoker:八方雲集集八點 12/13 11:35
推 Hchishan:彈無虛發發廢文 12/13 11:41
推 lightpisces:中秋月圓圓仔Q 12/13 11:45
推 peartea:王堡漢吃漢堡王 12/13 11:47
推 dcfc:刮目相看看笨版 12/13 11:48
推 a135246g:頭城打砲王砲打城頭 12/13 11:50
推 ohmypan:著火的牛牛牽到北京還是牛！！！ 12/13 12:03
推 payyee:月下飛蛾蛾摩拉 12/13 12:05
推 chuegou:笑問客從喜年來 12/13 12:10
推 twofishes2:好漢不提陳松勇 12/13 12:12
推 headlose:我是台北金城武 12/13 12:13
推 equilibrium:庹宗康康康晉榮 12/13 12:19
推 pappla:問君能有李莫愁 12/13 12:24
推 tsaifa:日行一善善導寺 12/13 12:24
推 coolerxxxooo:李代桃僵鏘鏘鏘 12/13 12:38
推 homecare:萬徑人蹤滅絕師太 12/13 12:38
→ riseball:為人正直直升機 12/13 12:40
推 MrOrzer:ㄧ馬當先仙人跳 12/13 12:41
推 u943143:"好漢不提陳松勇"超好笑 12/13 12:44
推 ariesapril:保力達B嗶嗶嗶 12/13 12:44
推 esiy:天水一色射出來 12/13 12:55
推 drownfish:雞飛狗跳跳跳堂 12/13 12:56
推 hana0616:陳松勇跟喜年來超好笑XD 12/13 12:59
推 a1781781781:一哭二鬧三貂角 12/13 13:03
推 s8757042:好不好阿阿華田 12/13 13:08
推 s9210222:推文大歪歪不停 12/13 13:15
推 tornadodoyle:推文XDDD 12/13 13:18
推 callmeblack:天外飛仙仙人跳 12/13 13:24
推 kelopi:霜葉紅於五月花 12/13 13:24
推 thegreen531:不落人後後山埤 12/13 13:36
推 kapwe:人非聖賢鹹蘇雞 12/13 13:37
推 chenyichuann:蜻蜓點水水上漂 12/13 13:38
推 ponwha22:一視同仁忍者龜 12/13 13:41
推 nmb0832:粗茶淡范范瑋琪 12/13 13:44
推 bluechichi:楊門女將薑母鴨 12/13 13:45
→ liyuoh:磨刀霍霍向日葵 12/13 13:47
推 weiweiweiwei:瞞天過海海公公 GG!! 12/13 13:47
推 EgHank:無心品鮑品毒鮑 12/13 13:56
推 vampireangie:大珠小珠落湯豬 12/13 13:58
推 h87910138:無所事事嗜插貓 12/13 14:05
推 lunaisagirl:一人做事薏仁湯 12/13 14:05
推 zinstar:天有不測步驚雲，人有旦夕賀寶芙。 12/13 14:31
推 hallway13816:一休和尚一揪桑 12/13 14:31
推 h4125678:癡漢相姦姦癡漢 12/13 14:32
推 srjkrj:花枝招展斬護衛 12/13 14:36
推 ians20025:一桿進洞洞庭湖 12/13 14:40
推 e0109:鷸蚌相爭真靠北 12/13 14:44
推 saltyan:日月明功工三小 12/13 14:56
推 MeloKing:傑瑞米林林書豪 12/13 15:04
推 submarine29:走馬看花花生糖 12/13 15:07
推 jarmart1995:月下獨酌啄木鳥 12/13 15:20
推 perfume080:身不由己擠乳溝 12/13 15:26
推 crazylin924:走為上策策幹譙 12/13 15:28
推 specialru:范瑋琪哪招 12/13 15:28
推 zxcvb4446:士別三日日月光 12/13 15:28
→ for40255:GGININRUNRUNDER 12/13 15:29
推 zxcvb4446:春眠不覺曉彬彬 12/13 15:31
推 Tenging:馬不停蹄笑皆非 12/13 15:33
推 omi0210:蘇州城外道明寺 12/13 15:34
推 coolwind4410:三顧茅廬盧廣仲 12/13 15:35
→ coolwind4410:思慮不周周杰倫 12/13 15:35
推 paulgg:不共戴天天海翼 12/13 15:37
推 vampireangie:聲東擊西西門町 12/13 15:52
推 subwaycat:情海生波波多野 12/13 15:54
推 ABCDEFGHIJ:傑瑞米林林御林 12/13 16:03
推 crystal1026:你娘卡好郝柏村 12/13 16:03
推 paulgg:麻雀雖小小阪惠 12/13 16:04
推 MBcat:十之八九九層塔 12/13 16:07
推 paulgg:心亂如麻麻倉憂 12/13 16:13
推 jijiyyder:柴米油鹽言承旭 12/13 16:15
推 putout:神奇寶貝貝卡斯 12/13 16:16
推 paulgg:悔不當初初音實 12/13 16:17
推 daven1718:藏木於林林敬言 12/13 16:20
推 nick0329:出口成章張學友 12/13 16:22
推 fjailfek:明鏡止水水母腦
12/13 16:24
推 vampire207:三心二意意難忘 12/13 16:33
推 nelson810112:上山下海海洛因 12/13 16:38
推 vampireangie:用心良苦古柯鹼 12/13 16:39
推 light5147:錯綜複雜雜貨店 12/13 16:42
推 TobyH4cker:濯纓濯足足長癬 12/13 16:42
推 nyustshit:東施效顰蘋果汁 12/13 16:48
推 HateMemy5566:木瓜牛奶奶大力
12/13 16:59
推 nelmif:我是范范范瑋琪 12/13 17:00
推 BlueRurutia:樓上好笑笑死我 12/13 17:06
推 andy168856:東南西北背好痛 12/13 17:21
推 CoolJB:甘林老蘇蘇東坡 12/13 17:25
推 leolin318:一字千金金正日 12/13 17:26
推 ChunYuLin:吃喝玩樂樂逍遙 12/13 17:26
→ leolin318:寸草不留劉德華 12/13 17:27
推 leolin318:白虹貫日日月光
12/13 17:29
推 soarmp:滄海桑田中將大
推 soarmp:滄海桑田中將大
12/13 17:31
推 BoonBo:幸運餅乾甘霖涼 12/13 17:31
推 allomorph918:涼圓粉腸大雞排 12/13 17:36
推 suhaw:笑點好低低頭皮 12/13 17:42
推 junbuttercat:推文大歪七扭八 12/13 17:47
推 lokesbirdman:庭院深深深幾許 12/13 17:53
推 gary20801:初音未來來我家 12/13 18:00
推 rosalina7:落葉怎麼在樹下 12/13 18:04
推 napnoside:照本宣科科加斯 12/13 18:22
推 love62469:歪了，整個都歪了! 12/13 18:26
推 QuentinYang:GG inin in dow pen 12/13 18:40
推 Demaciaaaaa:夜黑風高高義你他媽雜碎 12/13 18:55
推 homeboy528:鳳凰于飛非死book 12/13 19:00
→ Demaciaaaaa:剛正不阿阿姆斯特朗旋風噴射阿姆斯特朗砲 12/13 19:01
推 seallee:開門見喜喜羊羊 12/13 19:04
推 muhsin:呷霸緊睏睏美去 12/13 19:04
推 weibrother:玉樹臨風水世家 12/13 19:05
推 HarryXD:赤色屠戮路西恩 12/13 19:06
推 likeyida520:點石成金金城武 12/13 19:12
→ Demaciaaaaa:精益求精求精液 12/13 19:15
推 cabebe:Hello Kitty ttb 12/13 19:33
推 thisours:尋尋覓覓蜜豆奶 12/13 19:34
推 style000:陽明山山下智久 12/13 19:38
推 sky8324:我打下路路西恩 12/13 19:38
推 s890472:他玩輔助瑟雷西 12/13 19:43
推 ee430:一路向西西北雨 12/13 19:45
推 jason890107:我愛QN恩欸利 12/13 19:54
→ Joey0625:吹含吸舔摳鮑魚 12/13 19:59
推 MeviusY:臨行密密馮迪索 12/13 20:00
→ rafee:紅澄黃綠藍靛紫 12/13 20:06
推 fixout:荒谷惡龍龍邵華 12/13 20:14
推 yloly:我是范范范瑋琪 12/13 20:15
推 andyeva:不吃不可可麗餅 12/13 20:23
推 hihisnoopy:懸樑刺股古天樂 12/13 20:30
推 YuTeaNe:美麗大安海瑟薇 12/13 20:35
推 calapopo:親像飛龍飛上天 12/13 20:35
推 LeoKA:七七乳加倍奉還 12/13 20:35
推 October1001:大俠愛吃漢堡堡 12/13 20:37
推 LeoKA:青出於藍藍可兒 12/13 20:39
推 bobyhsu:此篇推文文青假 12/13 20:39
推 lliuooia:月落烏啼阮經天 12/13 20:40
推 philandsam:停車做愛楓林晚 12/13 20:41
推 chduck:姑蘇城外含三次 12/13 20:42
推 qk425420:蒹葭蒼蒼蒼井空 12/13 20:45
推 qk425420:QWER Rio 12/13 20:54
推 likeyida520:床前明月光頭王 12/13 21:10
推 ohoh0704:婆婆媽媽媽宗痛 抱歉罵髒話 12/13 21:19
推 live3631361:轉角遇到愛撫妻 12/13 21:19
推 lsj65680430:ABCDEFG 12/13 21:21
推 fysh011233:我愛帥哥哥是Gay 12/13 21:27
推 headlose:光碟偷拍李宗瑞
12/13 21:38
推 shine1108:一諾千金金城武 12/13 21:41
推 joesu41:憶載金城金城武 12/13 21:50
推 a22525740:四海遊龍龍應台 12/13 21:53
推 hotsummer:嘻嘻哈哈哈比人 12/13 21:53
推 yash:一二三四五六七 12/13 22:05
推 ylhd:自作主張張惠妹 12/13 22:10
推 qazwsx4457:春花秋夜許不了 12/13 22:13
→ qazwsx4457:勸君更進版規酒 12/13 22:15
推 qazwsx4457:姑蘇城外道明寺 12/13 22:19
推 qazwsx4457:勸君莫惜金田一 12/13 22:23
推 kkaa02206:畫龍點睛金凱瑞 12/13 22:28
推 jrnb:各位大大都太厲害惹... 12/13 22:35
推 kp7788147:南山人壽壽比南山 12/13 22:52
推 errejy83:有腳書櫥廚餘桶 12/13 22:54
推 gg333:一人做事薏仁湯 12/13 23:05
推 bosco1983:推文超級有國學內涵 12/13 23:07
推 bamm:比上不足比宋楚魚 12/13 23:09
推 B9903110:康康康康康晉榮 12/13 23:13
推 aasawfish:感動上蒼蒼井空 逝水年華華美月 12/13 23:16
推 scusb05:日月明功日月光 12/13 23:19
推 Judicator:天外飛仙仙人跳 12/13 23:32
推 tofu0419:天階夜色梁靜茹 12/13 23:35
推 nobeldd:謝天謝地謝長亨 12/13 23:35
推 ooke5525:驚天動地阮經天 12/13 23:39
推 sixkris:落花流水水菜麗 12/13 23:41
推 a198877927:黯然消魂飯島愛 12/13 23:44
推 sixkris:媚眼秋波波多野 12/13 23:44
推 coot443:日月無光日月光 12/13 23:45
推 syhyuhali:庭院深深伸懶腰 12/13 23:45
推 jimmy1991123:一人做事一人當 小叮做事小叮噹 12/13 23:45
推 kumon611:五五六六六八九 12/13 23:50
推 voyages1ky:一箭雙雕雕很大 12/13 23:52
→ voyages1ky:毫不保留劉寶傑\ 12/13 23:53
→ voyages1ky:到此一遊游錫堃 12/13 23:53
→ voyages1ky:幹妳女媽馬英九 12/13 23:54
推 Hisashi14:山南山北北一女 12/13 23:54
推 irisyukiji:無能為力炸醬麵 12/13 23:55
推 kiwievian:小小支那支小小 12/13 23:55
推 z142434:一柱擎天天氣晴 12/13 23:56
推 sixkris:語重心長豬大腸 安之若素樹懶叫 坐井觀天天上人間 12/13 23:56
推 voyages1ky:我愛媽媽馬英九 12/13 23:57
acebank:賽德嗑芭樂樂長
12/13 23:58
推 luckypon:落花有意一本道 12/14 00:02
推 woodman:屁股開花花惹發 12/14 00:05
推 luckypon:我在東京天氣熱 12/14 00:06
推 vandervaal:今年暖冬東京熱 12/14 00:10
推 shannyliu:江南大叔P.S.Y 12/14 00:12
推 koalawu2000:讚譽有加加勒比 12/14 00:13
推 luckypon:NARUTOKYOHOT 12/14 00:14
推 luckypon:好漢波多野結衣 12/14 00:16
推 ian030501:借花獻佛佛跳牆 12/14 00:17
推 theor:我是范范范瑋琪 12/14 00:18
推 twin3957:青青河邊草枝擺 12/14 00:21
推 v92210:訊連承勳薰衣草 12/14 00:21
推 ayumiayayaai:下不維力炸醬麵 12/14 00:29
→ ayumiayayaai:鳩占鵲巢檸檬茶 12/14 00:29
推 chumua:黑眼豆豆豆花妹 12/14 00:31
推 rojin:哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 12/14 00:35
推 myletter:火影忍者龜頭痛 12/14 00:36
推 zebrazxcv:八仙過海海人生 12/14 00:41
推 john950146:泥馬吃草草泥馬 12/14 00:47
推 jimmylily:亂七八糟遭小偷 12/14 00:56
推 breadwolf:齊天大剩盛竹如 12/14 01:13
推 jimmy60204:八風吹不斷背山 12/14 01:13
推 skybabysuki:紅杏出牆牆頭草 12/14 01:15
推 nobodyaj:兩岸猿聲昇龍拳 12/14 01:17
推 skybabysuki:臥看牽牛織毛衣 12/14 01:19
推 homecare:夜半鐘聲討客兄 12/14 01:21
推 nobodyaj:雲想衣裳我想揉 12/14 01:24
推 zxc82930:借問酒家何處有 牧童遙指新手村 12/14 01:25
推 jerry6799:九陰真經精神病 12/14 01:26
推 nothank:無後為大大中天 12/14 01:27
推 ltou:篳路藍縷呂秀蓮 12/14 01:33
→ ltou:知法犯法法律蓮 12/14 01:33
推 yf8603068034:精益求精潘金蓮 12/14 01:38
推 popopoman7:三三兩兩女一杯 12/14 01:40
推 goodblessyou:三三四五六七八 12/14 01:45
推 minnie0618:相貌堂堂湯抖森 12/14 01:49
推 nobodyaj:百聞不如鄭伊健 12/14 01:51
推 nch6710:菊花爆菊爆菊花 12/14 02:11
推 jay159987:小叮做事小叮噹 12/14 02:14
推 gp02a77:富貴險中求德洛 12/14 02:30
推 angel0328:抽刀斷水水煎包 12/14 02:34
推 rong1994:人美招嫉紀議會 12/14 02:53
推 clear000:美輪美奐換禮品 12/14 02:56
推 BoogieNei:無縫接軌軌道車 12/14 02:58
推 ponialieo:頭昏眼花花惹發 12/14 03:02
→ ponialieo:笨版推文文采佳 12/14 03:02
推 strayinparis:無心插柳柳橙汁 好不好阿阿華田 12/14 03:32
推 mikle0915:日月神功宮崎葵 12/14 03:39
→ mikle0915:日月神教叫小賀 12/14 03:40
推 roda23139:見怪不怪怪我囉 12/14 03:40
→ roda23139:ㄅㄆㄇㄈㄈㄈ尺 12/14 03:41
推 roda23139:福壽綿綿棉籽油 12/14 03:59
→ boblee0309:月落烏啼爽整天 12/14 04:01
推 a112268:見你看我我難過 12/14 04:01
→ a112268:雞雞爆屌屌爆了 12/14 04:04
推 a112268:五樓嗜插插死你 12/14 04:08
推 MissRe:惜話如金金錢豹 12/14 04:13
推 yulinfranky:鳩占鵲巢檸檬茶 12/14 04:17
推 monkeyyyy:坐看牛狼吃女星 12/14 04:24
推 roda23139:尋花問柳柳宗元 12/14 04:30
推 maltosecat:蠟炬成灰灰太郎 12/14 04:39
推 jvylw:日月無光日月光 12/14 04:40
→ maltosecat:屏氣凝神神谷姬 12/14 04:40
推 shinchu329:阿這是在衝啥小 12/14 04:59
推 littlespider:半夜不睡睡不著 12/14 05:14
推 aa840325:想入非非菲歐拉 12/14 06:37
推 kotcf:四面楚歌哥吉拉 12/14 07:05
推 jay60810:若即酪梨牛奶汁 12/14 07:11
推 E04UrMoM:害群之馬馬九九 12/14 07:12
推 E04UrMoM:吹牛拍馬馬家軍 12/14 07:17
→ E04UrMoM:盲人瞎馬馬政府 12/14 07:18
推 candyxu04:我是芳芳方芳芳 12/14 07:55
推 uqk4hqpn:ggininingg 12/14 08:19
推 so1518si:天大地大台科大 12/14 08:30
噓 nobodyaj:閉門造車車太鉉 12/14 09:02
推 nicole613:花生豆花花木蘭 12/14 09:09
推 pili6865:噹噹噹噹噹噹噹 12/14 09:37
推 windrops:買不累的一休死 12/14 09:46
推 lucasboy:精盡人王王子麵 12/14 09:58
推 Halu5566:西出陽關關之琳 12/14 10:42
推 prohibitorum:XXXXGAY 12/14 10:44
推 tw765:推文不止只好推 12/14 10:53
推 loshihchieh:伐伐伐伐伐木工 12/14 11:44
推 Greenmade:看見台灣彎的否 12/14 12:29
推 ayugioh2003:誰是ＸＸＸＸ貓 12/14 12:29
推 tony79:一言九鼎鼎泰豐 12/14 12:40
推 ponialieo:老漢推車車輪餅 12/14 13:06
推 NexusI:阿姆斯壯撞月球 12/14 13:32
推 h3178378:鳩佔鵲巢檸檬茶 12/14 13:51
推 root0113:日月神功宮崎駿 萬華龍山寺插貓 12/14 14:02
推 disremember:推文XDDD 12/14 14:33
推 exeex:ＱＷＥＲ錯雜彈 大招小招落鍵盤 12/14 14:47
推 lovebear86:口無遮攔藍正龍 12/14 15:25
推 a8754022:大家推文好好笑 12/14 16:07
推 forest6601:將軍抽車車車叫 12/14 16:21
推 tonytony0628:ABCD告ㄍㄚˇ低 12/14 16:24
推 ehxkty1548:推文XDDDDDDDD 12/14 16:37
推 DKwarlock:一騎當千千層派 12/14 16:40
→ sixkris:瀟灑英俊朗朗朗 12/14 16:58
推 agal:左擁右抱報馬仔 12/14 17:16
推 likeyida520:一閃一閃亮晶晶 12/14 17:42
推 StevenKun:再見全壘一本道 12/14 18:21
推 herbi:千方百計計算機 12/14 18:38
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